Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4
You just had a miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant loss. Your heart is broken, your grief is overwhelming, and you don’t know what to do next. First, sweet mama, know that many have been where you are and understand the pain you are experiencing. Understand that there are so many women who have walked this journey yet you will still be left feeling alone and isolated. To help during this difficult time, I have compiled questions for you to begin thinking about. Questions to help you process your thoughts and emotions but also to help prepare you for painful situations to come.
It might be helpful to grab your favorite journal to write your answers down.
6 Questions to Ask After a Pregnancy or Infant Loss
How will I tell others? Who will I tell?
If you haven’t already, think of ways you will tell other people about your baby. If you have told others, how did they respond? Were they supportive? Insensitive? What was the most memorable discussion you have had about your loss?
What will I say when someone says something to me that is hurtful?
It is inevitable that someone will say something to you that will be very hurtful. Even though they don’t mean to be, people can be insensitive as a response to the loss of your baby. It is helpful to come up with kind, loving responses ahead of time instead of being caught off guard when it happens. What response(s) will you use? Will your response include an appropriate way to teach others how to respond to a mom experiencing a pregnancy loss?
How will I remember my baby?
Remembering your baby is important. Many moms choose to wear a special piece of jewelry, purchase a stuffed animal, make a donation to an important cause in honor of their baby, plant a tree, light candles, paint/create art, etc. Will you include others in your remembrance? (Dad, siblings, grandparents, etc.) Will this be a one-time remembrance or an annual event?
How can I help the father of my baby?
Dads matter too! Don’t forget about the father of your precious baby because they lost their baby too. Even though her didn’t physically experience the labor of losing the baby, he has still suffered a loss. Don’t be caught off guard if he processes his grief differently than you, most likely it will look differently than how you grieve. How has he been through this difficult time? What emotions do you think he is feeling? How could you show him support? How does he grieve? How has this affected your relationship? How can you build him up during this time?
What will I do when I am invited to a baby shower?
At one point or another, you will encounter a difficult event or situation. A baby shower, gender reveal, birth, pregnancy announcement, baby christening, family gathering, holiday, are all examples of things that could happen after your loss. How do you respond? How will you prepare? How will you guard your heart when you experience one of these difficult situations?
Will I try to have another baby?
If you are wanting to conceive again, are you healthy enough? Are there things you should change? Are you eating healthy? Are you taking a prenatal vitamin? Are you exercising? Have you visited a good doctor recently? Do you need to get a new doctor?
Pregnancy Loss Support
Are you in need of pregnancy loss resources? Check out OUR HEARTS ALIGN for support and resources.
Align Our Hearts: A Devotional for Pregnancy Loss is a great book to help you while you grieve the death of your baby. It is a devotional, coloring book, and journal all in one. This is a great tool to use while you grieve and can also be used as a keepsake to look back on in the future. To purchase this book click HERE.
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Bible Verses For Those Grieving The Loss of A Pregnancy with FREE downloadable scripture cards.
